The Start of Something Interesting...

[lastonepercent]

The day was calm, with no recent Decepticon attacks, and none suspected to be incoming for some time.  The cons were too busy licking their wounds from the last battle, one that the Autobots had decidedly come out ahead on.  The celebrations had gone on long into the night and the recreation room was already a mess.

Thus, it was the perfect chance for a lone Autobot to slip casually outside.

Mirage had no shift currently scheduled, so he was free to spend his time as he pleased.  He certainly made no move to hide his departure, greeting his comrades in the halls on the way out, but the box in his hands remained unopened despite any passing curiosity.  It was quietly shifted into subspace before long, and  the former noble shifted into alt mode just as smoothly when he reached the doors.  Despite the completely inappropriate earthen race car mode, the mech had little trouble self-adjusting before driving off into the forest covering the mountain, for business unknown...

Comments

[lastonepercent]

"I did," Mirage snapped back, bristling.

"Did you know she wasn't going to be offended? Did you know pushing it would turn out well? No!"

Mirage stood, stalking over with a shaking finger pointed at Cliffjumper's chest.

"You do not take such casual risks - not at first! Not until you've got a better read on their temperaments! You may have proven that this ambassador is calm-minded," he allowed quickly, grudging even if he visibly chafed under the acknowledgement.

"But we cannot afford to insult someone inadvertently! I thought I made that clear before!"

[cliffjumper]

"Back off," Cliffjumper snarled and didn't just slap the offending finger away, but pushed Mirage out of the way to jump out of the chair and stomp away, because like frag was he gonna stay trapped during an argument.

At least not with their differences. Wasn't like he would've minded had it been Bee - well, sorta.

"And it was just a fragging comment about the ship! Who'd ever slaggin' get offended at that?!" It was so hard not to yell outright, though revving his engine was a passable substitute and he whirled around, throwing his arms out.

The little allowance would have been a victory, however small, if he cared. Right now he was just angry and incredulous.

[lastonepercent]

Mirage hissed but - gratingly - allowed Cliffjumper to push him away without shoving the smaller mech back. He had been crowding the bot- but slag it all, this was serious!

Instead, Mirage let out an inarticulate snarl, spinning in place to glare at Cliffjumper's stomping back.

"Do I really need to list all the times embassies and negotiations have failed because of stupid, pointless things? Making stupid jokes before we have access to a full cultural archive download is risky. I thought this was clear beforehand!"

[cliffjumper]

"Not like that!" Cliffjumper snapped and whirled around, not about to back down yet. Because while, sure, things like that had been brought up in what he read, but not quite showing the inanity of what could be constituted as offensive.

In his defense, Cliffjumper had only had a week and a single datapad to read, most of it about the mission itself.

"That's just fragging ridiculous!"

He almost yelled that Mirage was also ridiculous and stupid, but managed to - barely - swallow that behind a growl and tightening his hands into fists at his sides.

[lastonepercent]

"Well it is ridiculous!"

Mirage threw his hands up into the air, giving the floor a petulant stomp.

"I am perfectly aware that the lengths we have to go to avoid the possibility of mistake are ridiculous! I know! But so are cultural taboos and cultural insults and offensive turns of phrase that could bungle this entire mess!"

He spun in place, turning his back to the smaller mech, arms crossing over his chest with a clang.

"But I am not going through all this fuss only to have a joke or a gesture or our optical flickers ruin this entire endeavor!"

[cliffjumper]

"Well, they can't just fraggin' expect us to know things we can't slagging know!" It seemed supremely unfair that they would have all that weight on them when they could impossibly know everything that might be offensive or whatever.

"And you can't be slagging serious with the last thing, not like that's anything anyone could do anything about!" Cliffjumper scowled, engine revving and tightened his fists until they shook before he relaxed them and jerkily crossed his arms over his chestplates.

That was just all... expectations no one could hope to fill!

[lastonepercent]

"Oh, but they can. At least when it comes to taboos and insults," Mirage scoffed, glancing back over his shoulder.

"And I am. You should look up the Cybertronian-Ferralian relations some time. Negotiations with their planet stalled for vorns because the ambassadors kept stomping off in a agitated, offended huff, claiming they were being threatened!"

He waved a hand, optics rolling dramatically.

"Turns out, our lack of liquid-based optical sensors - and the fact that we don't need to blink like organics do - is a threatening gesture. As soon as we began imitating it with optical flickering..."

He shrugged, hand flapping in a 'there you have it' gesture.

[cliffjumper]

Cliffjumper just stared, a half-static, incredulous noise slipping out as he listened, because what the frag? He was still annoyed, put-out frustration burning along his circuits, but Mirage's little elaboration was enough to be distracting.

"That's slagging dumb!" Cliffjumper finally burst out, shaking his helm.

Technically, it probably wasn't 'dumb' that the organics had found the lack of blinking threatening, but not realising they don't do that, or bring it up or whatever seemed very much to be so, to Cliffjumper.

And once more (if he ever stopped) he felt completely out of his depth, flopping back in his seat and crossing his arms, looking away with a scowl.

[lastonepercent]

"I know," Mirage grumbled, fighting the urge to let amusement at Cliffjumper's dramatic response soften his lingering irritation with the minibot. Petulant flopping and commiseration or not. He did gracefully sprawl out unto the nearest chair, though.

"But it is obviously true all too often, so it is important that we keep such possibilities in mind. At least until we have better data."

[cliffjumper]

Cliffjumper's response was a loud, frustrated groan and rubbing his hands over his faceplate. He still didn't think he'd been in the wrong and thought Mirage had over-reacted, but he did have a slightly better idea of how sensitive these things could be.

"This is gonna be terrible," Cliffjumper muttered into the shadow of his own hands, which he still had over his faceplate. He hadn't really intended for it to be loud enough to be heard, but he was still frustrated... and exasperated.

This was really not something he was made for - even less educated for.

[lastonepercent]

"...yes," Mirage sighed, slumping down in the chair. Cliffjumper's reaction was reassuring - and oddly tiring. At least he was finally beginning to understand, but why did it take so long for him to do so?

(It was going to be a long while before they were on the same page. On anything.)

"That it likely will. But we will get through it."

He flapped a hand carelessly, exhausted.

"I'm sure I'll think of...something."

[cliffjumper]

Maybe it was mostly because he was Cliffjumper, and maybe it was at least a little because he'd been thrown deep-end first into something he had no knowledge or experience for at all.

Engine grumbling, Cliffjumper dropped his hands and slid a little further into his seat, helm dropping back so he could stare at the ceiling.

"Not so sure about that, but I sure as slag hope so." If nothing else they would hopefully get through the official parts intact, but as for Cliffjumper personally...

Well, he was continuing to get a better idea of who Mirage actually was, beyond what he'd been able to see otherwise, and while it was annoying and definitely aggravating, it... didn't do much to stamp out the crush.

Cliffjumper wouldn't want to admit it - or even think about it - but unfortunately things might actually be 'helping' to mature the crush into something with more substance.

[lastonepercent]

"Well."

Good to see that their faith in one another's abilities was fairly evenly matched.

"Anyway. At least until we get planet side, do try to keep my advice in mind? I swear, once we can compile a list of all their taboos, you can joke as much as you please."

Mirage curled further into his seat as well, slumped and tired. It was much too early to be this tired of the mission.

[cliffjumper]

Truly. Not that Cliffjumper ever had had any great belief in how well he'd do or anything... The question leaves the mini grimacing up at the ceiling.

"As if getting planet-side's gonna make things instantly clear or whatever... And I fragging doubt jokes are gonna end up bein' the actual problem." Cliffjumper said with a grumble, well aware of his... ah, personal failings, even if he always started out feeling well in the right.

... Or just reacting to someone antagonising him, there was that too.

[lastonepercent]

"It's always possible. And no list of taboos will ever likely be complete, as the very act of noting them down might be prohibited, but it will certainly help once I have a more robust access to their systems."

Still curled in the (surprisingly comfortable) chair, Mirage waved a hand toward the rest of the room.

"Anyway. If that is settled for now, we should probably try to get comfortable and recover for a bit, before we take that 'tour'."

While thoroughly calming down already, he personally didn't feel like going out there while still hot and bothered, engine grumbling all the while.

[cliffjumper]

He almost bit out a muttered 'who's we' but managed to keep that opinion to himself, if only barely.

"Don't think relaxing's something that's gonna happen," Cliffjumper said instead as he finally straightened back up, and he didn't even remotely mean because of their argument. No, this was all because of the situation and location.

Strange ship surrounded by strangers, who were an unknown quantity. And he didn't mean in regards to insulting them either!

"How're ya even gonna find stuff about taboos just 'cause we'll have access to their systems?" Frowning as he looked around the cabin again, Cliffjumper was relieved (and completely ignored the tiny squiggly bit deep inside that was disappointed, that there were two berths... probably because it was standard.

Not that they'd probably get the chance or need to use them on this short trip.

Question was, what would things look like when they got to Paradron?

[lastonepercent]

Mirage could only shrug, making himself more comfortable in the plush chair.

"Suit yourself." He at least needed a little while to recover from their bickering, as he was going to take it while he could.

"And most people keep some sort of records for their taboos, even if they don't realize they do."

Mirage made a lazy gesture, not even bothering to lift his arm from the chair.

"Criminal records, censored vid files, educational data for protoforms... It's all about looking for what they don't want to show you, but once you find the holes in their data..."

Rather like hacking and finding Decepticon data, really.

[cliffjumper]

Cliffjumper, though he didn't notice it, ended up leaning forward in his seat as Mirage spoke, confused and incredulous at first... But it made sense, didn't it?

"... That just sounds weird, but," pausing, Cliffjumper frowned, nasal ridge scrunching up as he thought it over again, "it also makes sense? I guess. How the slag do ya come up with scrap like that?"

Who even thought of things like that in that way? It seemed so utterly alien Cliffjumper couldn't do more than shake his helm at first...

"... is this a spy thing?"

[lastonepercent]

"It's hardly weird. Logical, really. Once you think about it for a while. People broadcast all sorts of things they don't realize they do..."

Mirage paused, helm lifting toward Cliffjumper with a faint grin.

"A 'spy thing'? ...Well yes, yes it is. It is part of why I can manage both sides of my job, really."

[cliffjumper]

"Not something I'd be able to pick up," Cliffjumper said with a little snort and a roll of his optics. Mirage made it sound so obvious, when, to Cliffjumper, it seemed anything but.

"Both sides?" Cliffjumper repeated, feeling faintly dumb as he was just echoing what Mirage just had said. He just wasn't sure what the mech meant, and looked away both due to that, and Mirage's little grin.

It just hammered home how handsome Mirage was, and, more than that, how much more open he seemed even when he just relaxed just a little. It did funny things to his insides, which was just embarrassing.

[lastonepercent]

Mirage could have made a cruel remark - but really, that would just be rude, at this point, and would have only served to flair everything back up again. Instead, he simply inclined his helm, acknowledging Cliffjumper's point without rubbing it in.

"Indeed. I am playing both diplomat, priest, and spy, for the moment. And normally, there are of course other aspects of being within the special ops division than 'simple' spying."

Another causal shrug, as he watched the smaller mech for his reaction. It was a curious question he had posed, after all.

[cliffjumper]

"That's a lot. Don't get 'em mixed up," Cliffjumper said with a grin, but even so he was suddenly uncomfortably aware of how, most probably, most of their safety hinged on Mirage not doing just that.

Sure, so far there'd been no proof the Paradronians would react badly to etiquette breaches, in Cliffjumper's opinion, but if Mirage got the 'spy' part mixed up in the other two, or it got revealed?

That probably wouldn't go over well.

Looking away to scowl at the porthole and the blackness of space outside, Cliffjumper was aware he did have some responsibility for their common safety and for Mirage as well... But, far more was on Mirage alone.

He wasn't sure what he thought about that.

"... what other stuff is there, anyway? Hacking?" Shaking his helm to forcefully eject those thoughts as he looked back at Mirage, Cliffjumper couldn't quite help the roll of his optics.

[lastonepercent]

"I will certainly try," Mirage snickered in surprise at the unexpected joke. At least, he assumed it was a joke.

It wasn't about to get something like that 'mixed up'.

Watching Cliffjumper pensively for several moments, Mirage pursed his lips at the question.

"Mhmm. Hacking is part of it, of course. Monitoring communications. Body-language. And of course, being at the right place at the right time."

[cliffjumper]

It had been, really. Cliffjumper had also just been struck by how very much it wasn't at the same time. The sicker in response drew another grin out of Cliffjumper while he waited for a reply to the other question.

... If Mirage would deign to reply, that was. Maybe it was too secret? Maybe his patience had run out? Cliffjumper wasn't sure, and he couldn't read Mirage's quiet, too-closed off expression.

"... That last's just luck though, ain't it?" Cliffjumper said with a frown, more thoughtful than accusing. It wasn't as if a lot of war, or anything, he guessed, wasn't luck. But in a way it seemed very odd that something that had so much secrecy around it should just include an element of luck.

[lastonepercent]

"Less luck than you might think," Mirage corrected, despite the acknowledging tilt to his helm.

"There is an element of everything else I mentioned in finding the 'right' spots to be in, and learning the 'right' times. Stakeouts and guesswork are just as important."

Mirage glanced away for a second, something secretive and almost coy flickering across his faceplates for a bare moment.

"And it does help if one can tweak the 'luck' in their favor, on occasion."